War crimes? Don’t even bother asking Pete Hegseth about that — unless you want to get roasted by an alpha male.
Colin Jost reprised his role as the macho Secretary of War this week on “Saturday Night Live,” swaggering out to meet reporters at a press conference before chugging an energy drink and ordering everyone to shut up. He announced that “we’re now at war with Venezuela,” and if you’re looking for an official declaration of war? Hegseth has a middle finger for you — or at least a Dane Cook super finger.
Reporters try to get more information on the military’s deadly strike on alleged drug traffickers on a Venezuelan fishing boat, but Hegseth shouted them down… while letting it slip that he really just needs a stiff drink. When reporters pressed him on President Donald Trump’s waning public support of him, Hegseth insisted Trump is a “high-energy alpha” who backs him all the way… while Trump dozed off in the background.
Trump did wake up long enough to take over the press conference — after enjoying a spicy dream about New York City mayor-elect Zohran Mamdani — to defend Hegseth’s military actions by chalking them up to the “fog of war”: “It’s like when you go into the sauna at Equinox and suddenly, you’re doing stuff you’ve never done before.”
Press PLAY above to watch the sketch in full, and give this week’s “SNL” a grade in our poll.