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My Enormous Water Bottle Makes My Biceps Pop and My


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I have attempted many times to become a Hydration Queen, all of them futile. I spend my day chugging coffee, realize I’m thirsty somewhere around 3 pm, spend 20 minutes at the sink pouring glass after glass of water down my throat, and still end up dehydrated.

I’ve purchased water bottles in the past, but my ADHD brain never remembers to refill them once they’ve run dry. A few weeks ago, in the midst of a heat wave, my partner and I stopped to grab some new drivers before hitting the disc golf course. There, in an endcap at our local sporting goods store, I saw her. My angel. My savior. My soon-to-be bestie, the HydroJug Pro.

Big Bad

73oz HydroJugs in different colors

Photograph: HydroJug

If I were a water bottle, the 73-ounce HydroJug Pro would intimidate me. By sheer size alone, it makes a mockery of my past purchases from Contigo and HydroFlask. You won’t be putting this bad boy in your car’s cupholder. Filled to the brim, without a sleeve, my bottle weighs just over 4 pounds. It doubles as a weight when I take it with me on walks.

It wouldn’t be ideal for some people, but I like the heft of it. It serves as a physical reminder to keep sipping. And I only have to fill it up once per day!

Many sources recommend that you drink around 8 cups of water per day. That can vary widely, especially since fluid intake from food can count toward your totals. The United States Centers for Disease Control and Prevention points us toward studies that show a good amount is about 9 cups per day for women and about 11 cups per day for men.

This number fluctuates based on diet and exercise levels—if you move and sweat more, you should drink more. Urine color is a good indicator of hydration levels—it should be yellow like lemonade, not beer-colored or wholly transparent. I’m happy and not at all embarrassed to report here, publicly, that my pee is always the optimum color now.

But Also a Baddie

73oz HydroJug

Photograph: HydroJug

The HydroJug Pro is cute! It’s available in tons of colors. I’ve been rocking the Pink Sand version. In a utopia where everyone carried around HydroJugs, I’d be able to easily identify mine. There are accessories, too, like neoprene sleeves (with pockets and a carrying strap!) and wide straws for easier sipping. You get all three with the purchase of a Getting Started Kit ($50).

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