What’s the story behind the story? What inspired you to write AGEISM, FOODISM AND OTHER ISMS?
Engaging with others through verbal communication – nowadays being pushed out and replaced by alternative ways prompted me to write Ageism and Other Isms. Few, in my world at least, seem to have the time for meaningful connections. Just talking or sharing information seems a dying art. Due to this trend, loneliness often sets in, as do new pathologies because of many preferring virtual reality to pulsating flesh and blood.
I’ve always enjoyed sharing thoughts, ideas, information, vulnerabilities even, which I’ve found to be somehow cathartic – a little like freeing cluttered up spaces in one’s home.
Due to all of this, I got into the habit of writing, finding that a blank page is more receptive than most of the people surrounding me. A blank page easily draws out thoughts; it allows you to say anything that comes into your mind, pen daily occurrences, slights, or eventual delights without the fear of being rejected or criticized. It becomes a friend.
I believe the above trend started around the mid-50s with the grandaddy of them all: the TV. TV dinners began being served on trays and placed on the watchers’ laps as they began zombifying, while, wide-eyed they took in new concepts and ideas, some bad some good: clearly watching TV is easier than having to think, further, the brain loves being entertained and laps up anything that will numb it for a while and redirect it away from one’s daily challenges.
Out with a friend, the mobile phone rings in the middle of every sentence I attempt, dispersing and evaporating as the evening progresses, as eventually do my friends.
Conversation is replaced by brief rhetorical phrases. In my case, it would seem as if ageing and my immediate plans were the order of the day.
If I were a believer in all that which is unproven, I’d say that we all seem to have personalized programmes as if they had been tailored especially for each one of us, drawn with care and purpose, so one wouldn’t be able to escape the path allotted. Mine has always been clear, only that I hadn’t recognized it before. Karma comes to mind – a powerful concept!
‘Not now, I’m on the phone!’ was the response to a cheery good morning of mine. Conversations are often like verbal text messages. And I get a lot of ‘I gotta go…I gotta go…!
You’ve gotta go where? I feel like asking.
But I don’t dare topple people’s rhetoric.
However, there are some who love to talk…and talk…and talk.
Damn if you do, damn if you don’t!
While on the phone, a friend – I use the term loosely- talked non-stop for some forty minutes mostly about unknown others without ever coming up for air. My many attempts to break into the conversation made me feel like a thief trying to steal the crown jewels. A couple of times, I managed to sneak in, briefly, but my attempts were snatched back from me as if I were dealing with a clever tackle on a football field.
Soon, I gave up as the mesmerizing quality of my interlocutor’s voice started having a hypnotic hold on me. Perhaps listening to a human voice for such a long time was the catalyst.
It was after such episodes, or better monologues, as I patiently waited to be included in the conversation needing to say my piece, that I decided to time her while she babbled on, explaining with the minutest details what her friends said or wore. Of particular note was her total unawareness that I was there too and that she was being monitored and timed.
As the drone of her voice went on, I was reminded of the American anchorman who believed that one learnt nothing while one talked. But I learnt plenty as I listened, not through the content of the monologue but through the realization that some people just don’t get the simplest notions.
In the meantime, I learn that her new shoes hurt and that they gave her bunions. And to think that she paid so much for them! The salesgirl practically persuaded her that they were the right fit. She had the funniest hairstyle, the salesgirl, and spoke with a strange accent…Meanwhile, I’m anxiously waiting to get my say about matters I want to get off my chest. As she continues babbling on, my thoughts change focus. Now I’m thinking about all those unfortunate beings with suicidal intentions, desperately making a last call to a friend who might save their life – not a good idea with this one, who will go on talking even if there’s an earthquake!
As the hypnotic hold began easing, I started walking about in my loungeroom while she talked, dropping the phone and scratching away my frustration, once I even made myself a sandwich. When I picked up the phone again, my so-called friend was still at it, as was my itch. I knew I had the time to get myself a drink. And I did.
Of course, the solution would have been an easy one – making her aware that there were two of us and that reciting monologues belonged to theatres, not to human interactions. However, awakening one’s own awareness is hard enough, let alone other peoples.’ And how can one traverse the minefield of that elusive entity – the ego – other peoples’ which can be fierce when cornered?
But who’s brave enough to do that? Not me! I desisted confronting her because I wanted to avoid a free-for-all all. Judging from past experiences, I know a fight would have ensued, and I would have got the worst of it –in such circumstances honest people tend to be the losers!
As we know, the ego is part of our core, part of the architecture of the human being. So why question or contrast it if we want to live in peace?
The advent of mobile phones, tablets, and many other gadgets, isolating us further from our peers, also saw the reappearance of words that entered the modern lexicon with totally new meanings. There were drones and there were clones – besides lots of mobile phones.
And then there’s TikTok and Tic Tac, as well as my friend Jack who doesn’t give a tack! So, who cares what I’ve got to say?
And with my old pals Jung and Freud long gone, mental health issues and transference are often conducted on the phone.
And then there’s Facebook, Snapchat, and all of that. Besides, there’s Instagram and many, many more, which are becoming such a bore!
And then there’s WhatsApp and all that other crap. Not forgetting all those mobile phones turning us into clones!
When I mentioned my thoughts, complaining about the challenges I came across when trying to engage with my peers, well-meaning individuals, who crossed my path with the brevity of light flashes during a thunderstorm, suggested I try all sorts of hocus pocus and hullabaloo in order to reset my meridians.
‘Maybe there’s a lesson to be learnt,’ said one, blaming my bad Karma. The word seems to come up a lot, doesn’t it?
‘The Universe owes you,’ said yet another with philosophical inclinations.
But, on thinking about it, my life hasn’t been all that bad – certainly it has been repetitious, always ending at the starting point. Had I not intervened, replacing missing human contact with my fervid imagination, life would have been bleak indeed. To paraphrase Oscar Wilde: ‘If I hadn’t been there, I wouldn’t have enjoyed the party.’
With the passing of time and the lessening of disappointments, I discovered that our mental well-being doesn’t depend on others but comes from within, where there’s an abundance of wisdom and joy aplenty to be found.
The revered one who said: ‘Search and ye shall find’ had the right idea, only that he was crucified as his many messages of wisdom ruffled the feathers on too-many a-Centurion’s helmet.
And while on that note, the saying *‘There go I but for the grace of God’ comes to mind. Although thought negative by many these days, as it’s based on the miseries of others, I would replace it with: ‘Be grateful for your blessings’, a sure way to achieve serenity, that is if one’s aware that one has been spared the many afflictions of his fellow-beings, at the same time remembering that we’re not at the centre of the Universe and that our importance in the order of the cosmos is relative.
It works for me.
Ageism was another reason that made me put pen to paper, as I have been tormented by it throughout my life, starting from my very early years.
The subject of ageing was for me like a distant land I would never think about, let alone visit; however, not a day seemed to go by without someone or other wanting me to familiarize myself with the passing of time, until the subject of ageing became endemic and I started shunning any situation that might bring it about – in vain.
I suppose I have to live with it until alternatives are found. I’ve read somewhere that during the last World War lunatic asylums were willingly vacated by their inmates, no doubt because more pressing problems became the focus. So, there’s always hope for change.
*The phrase ‘There go I but for the grace of God,’ is attributed to a few people, one of whom is John Bradford whose remark was directed towards criminals being led to the gallows, and who was himself executed as a heretic (burnt at the stakes) around 1555, a few years after having been imprisoned in the tower of London for his convictions, which were contrary to the ones of the ruling class of his day.
And, going back to the cosmos, the Italian philosopher and mathematician Giordano Bruno also comes to mind as he suffered a similar fate to that of John Bradford because he dared putting forth his radical theories that proposed an infinite Universe with an infinite number of inhabited worlds.
The fierceness of man continues to surprise and overwhelm my sense of fairness and decency. Such incomprehensible ephemera we are, totally uncomprehending of the brevity of our existence, and that our short time on Earth should be better spent than waging war against one another, or giving precedence to virtual reality over one’s neighbours.
What’s your favorite genre to read? Is it the same as your favorite genre to write?
I like any kind of informative books, something that will educate and surprise me.
What books are on your TBR pile right now?
Jean Kittson’s ‘We Need to Talk about Mum and Dad’ and various health magazines.
What scene in your book was your favorite to write?
The segment that discusses Ageism.
Do you have any quirky writing habits? (lucky mugs, cats on laps, etc.)
Jotting down notes at any time of day or night.
Do you have a motto, quote, or philosophy you live by?
Do no harm.
If you could choose one thing for readers to remember after reading your book, what would it be?
To pursue good nutrition, and that gratitude can be a catalyst for happiness and well-being.
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