9-Year-Old Weaponizes Homework in Genius Plot to See Slipknot

Logan is a 9-year-old metalhead from New Jersey on a mission: he wants to see Slipknot live. And he’s not just asking — he’s making a full-scale academic argument with his homework.

When Logan’s third-grade teacher assigned an opinion essay, he didn’t write about recess or video games. Instead, he used the opportunity to convince his mom that taking him to a Slipknot concert is not just a good idea — it’s a necessity. And apparently, this isn’t the first time he’s used his schoolwork to make his case.

While Logan’s mom leans more toward folk, country and Broadway musicals, she told Loudwire that his dad was in a rock band in high school and college. That probably explains where Logan gets his taste for heavy music.

“He’s been trying to convince me to take him to a Slipknot concert for at least the last six months pretty relentlessly,” she tells us. “He went to his first rock concert (Halestorm) this past summer, so he knows he loves concerts.”

Logan’s mom shared his assignment with Loudwire and his essay, titled “Slipknot is the Best,” lays out his argument with the precision of a well-executed drum solo. Frankly, we see no flaw in his logic.

First, he argues that he’s getting older — almost a middle schooler, in fact — which means he’s mature enough to experience a live metal show.

“…I am turning double digits, that’s almost a middle schooler!” Logan reasons. “That means I am way more sensible, which means I will not do anything they do.”

Don’t worry, mom — Logan has no plans to set any trash cans on fire.

But he’s not the only one getting older. He’s also worried about the possibility of his idol — Slipknot’s frontman, Corey Taylor — retiring.

“The problem with him getting old is he might retire soon and without Corey Taylor, Slipknot isn’t really Slipknot,” he writes. “By now, most singers would have retired.”

READ MORE: Corey Taylor Reveals Big Change to How Slipknot Will Tour

Maybe someone should introduce Logan to rock legends such as The Rolling Stones and AC/DC, who seem to have found the secret to immortality. This might ease his anxiety.

Lastly, Logan isn’t just pushing for a solo trip. He sees this as an opportunity for a family bonding experience and an opportunity to share the beauty of metal with his loved ones.

“We could get them into good music that they might like,” he writes. “I mean, I already know lots of people and family members who like that type of music. If they have millions of fans, they must at least be alright.”

Logan closes his persuasive essay with a mic-drop statement: “As you can see, Slipknot isn’t just a band, it is truly an experience.”

Very good point, Logan. You can see images and a transcript of Logan’s full — and extremely convincing — essay below.

How Did Logan’s Love of Slipknot Begin?

It turns out Logan isn’t just a fan — he’s a musician himself. His mom shared that he started drumming a little over a year ago and immediately became obsessed. She also said it’s helped with his ADHD.

“It didn’t take him long to realize that metal has the best drumming (according to Logan), and that Slipknot was the best metal band,” she tells Loudwire.

The third-grader discovered the song “Unsainted” in the video game Rock Band 4. Like many before him, that led him down a rabbit hole.

He then started watching videos of Rock Band drumming, music videos and videos of others talking about Slipknot, including the The Charismatic Voice.

We asked Logan what his favorite Slipknot song is and he said it was hard to choose. He narrowed it down to either “Eeyore” or “Scissors” and the whole Iowa album.

Logan has been learning Slipknot drum parts at home and at School of Rock and he takes his research seriously.

“Logan makes me listen and then rank each song on the 1-10 scale and tell me what makes each song special,” she says. “He also has researched the history of the band, the albums, and the masks, and given me many lectures about it. He’s definitely on a mission to get everyone into Slipknot. His teachers know about Slipknot now since he loves to share (and unfortunately, drum along to their music playing in his head during class).”

What Do Logan’s Teachers Think of His Slipknot Assignments?

We had to ask: What do Logan’s teachers think about all of this?

“His teachers are all aware of his interest in Slipknot and do whatever we can in the classroom to incorporate his love of the band and drumming into his lessons and schoolwork,” his teacher shared.

Along with his opinion essay, Logan also wrote an information paper about drums and drumming. Kudos to his teachers for encouraging his passion and letting him channel his musical obsession into his studies.

9-Year-Old Logan’s Full Opinion Essay: “Slipknot is the Best”

Have you ever heard of Slipknot? Slipknot is an American heavy metal band formed in 1995. They are known for their intense, exhilarating, and crazy live shows. They are also known for intense and heavy songs. Even if this isn’t your type of music, they are still very fascinating. This is why I should be able to see Slipknot live.

First reason is that I am turning double digits, that’s almost a middle schooler! That means I am way more sensible, which means I will not do anything they do. It would also be a great way to celebrate.

Second of all, the lead singer Corey Taylor is getting old. He is in his 50s! And to be the lead singer of Slipknot, you need to scream with power. The problem with him getting old is he might retire soon, and without Corey Taylor, Slipknot isn’t really Slipknot. By now, most singers would have retired.

Finally, we could make it a thing for the whole family. We could get them into good music that they might like. I mean, I already know lots of people and family members who like that type of music. If they have millions of fans, they must at least be alright.

In conclusion, I should be able to see Slipknot live. I’ve told you how I will soon turn 10 and will be way more sensible, how the lead singer Corey Taylor is getting old, and finally how we can make it a thing for the whole family and it can help people find new music. As you can see, Slipknot isn’t just a band, it is truly an experience.

Logan’s Other Slipknot Schoolwork

But this isn’t the first time Logan has used his homework to campaign for a Slipknot show. His mom shared a few more images of his work — including a word of the week assignment and snowman art — proving that this is far from a phase.

Sorry mom, Logan is in this for life.

One last thing. While we had the chance, we had a very important question for Logan. We needed to know if he could ask Corey Taylor any question what would he ask. And Logan did not disappoint. He has a singular goal and he will not stop until he achieves it.

So, what would he ask? “Can you get me tickets to a Slipknot concert?”