Samantha Irby’s newest essay collection, Quietly Hostile, is a peek inside her various points of interest. Everything from Dave Matthews Band and The Cheesecake Factory to weed gummies is brought to the fore, but it’s her love of television that shines through above all else. And if you’re familiar with her resume, this won’t surprise you.
In addition to being a comedian and essayist, Irby is also a TV writer. Shows like Shrill, Tuca & Bertie, and most recently, And Just Like That, are just a few of her most notable projects. And she’s also a TV fan—listing Survivor, The Good Wife, and Yellowstone as some of her favorites. “I’m old as hell,” she jokes. “I just mainlined these literal shows for seniors. I’m in my ancient era.”
In Quietly Hostile, there’s an essay titled “superfan!!!!!!!” in which Irby creates an alternate version of Sex and the City that includes everything she would’ve changed about the original show. In “how to look cool in front of teens,” she speaks about how exhilarating it is to love a show so much that you make it your entire personality. And in another, she writes about her own television show that was optioned from her first book that ultimately never saw the light of day. In true Irby fashion, as you work your way through the collection, you’ll laugh, you’ll cry, and you’ll begin to think about popular culture in a new and exciting way.
Below, Irby spoke to ELLE.com about the show she’s been loving lately, the most challenging essay to write, and what it feels like to be admired by her peers.
I wanted to start by telling you that you’re one of the most recommended authors in ELLE’s Shelf Life column. I don’t know if you knew that.
You know, I read other people’s things all the time and I’m always like, “Whew, I could never do that” and then I want to tell everyone about what this person did. But then I look at my own work and say to myself, “A child wrote this.” So when someone recommends my work, I don’t take it lightly. It’s very flattering.
You’re an inspiration in these streets.
Well, unfortunately for America, that’s a little true.
When do you usually first begin compiling essays for a collection?
I never have any good writer answers. I start putting together a collection when somebody in charge tells me it’s time. My editor will be like, “We see you on Instagram but haven’t heard from you. What have you been doing?” It’s bad. I wish I was someone else, but I, unfortunately, am a mess.
Do you keep a journal?
I do have a little notebook or I’ll text myself. For instance, the last thing I texted myself was about salad. I was talking to my friend about how I prefer room-temperature salad. And he was like, “That’s disgusting.” I actually have a salad sitting over here right now getting to room temperature. I don’t need to heat it up, but I can’t taste shit when it’s cold. But anyway, he was like, the title of your next collection should be Hot Salad. So I texted it to myself. Now, who knows what’ll happen? But sometimes I wonder if I write something three years before it comes out, will it still feel relevant to my life? I have lots of notes that I’ve texted myself that I’ve been like, “Now that a year has passed, that’s dumb and I’m not gonna write it.” So I do leave the writing until the last second. I think you can tell when you read the book that there was no planning. My goal is not to make a seamless collection, which I could never do. I like to write a thing that you can read during a train ride or on the toilet or whatever. And then that chapter is done. There are no callbacks and you can move on. I want to give you the most chaotic and most recent things on my mind.
Do you have a favorite essay from the book? I have one so I’d love to know what yours is.
My favorite is the Sex and the City essay. I’m very proud of myself for not staying in the emotion of being attacked online for decisions that I didn’t make. And I have an encyclopedic knowledge of the show. So I was like, “Oh, you thought I ruined the reboot? I’m gonna ruin your whole early adulthood.” I’m very proud of that because there’s so much I could’ve done. I could have put all of the death threats into the book and responded to them.
Wait, you received death threats for being a writer on And Just Like That?
Everyone is so typical, right? People heard the word “reboot” and that we got new Brown ladies and said, “I hate the new show and I’m deciding I hate it because of these new elements and clearly, that’s the fault of the Black and Brown people.” And it’s like, little do you know, I’m the cashier. I’m clocking in. There ain’t no salary. I’m not in the meetings. But you can’t explain that to some irrational idiot online. So I knew that I wanted to put it in the book, but I was like, “How? I’m gonna fuck up the whole show and write about everything I would’ve changed.”
And the new show is really good. But we understand that when you’re bringing something back from the past, it has to reflect the culture. It feels like everybody agrees on that until you actually do it and that’s frustrating. I mean, having my personal work in the world is not that big of a deal because nobody reads. So I don’t get a lot of pushback. But, TV? Oh, I was not prepared for how many people were gonna watch it and how many people were gonna get mad about it.
I want to give you the most chaotic and most recent things on my mind.”
I saw that the new trailer for season 2 was just released.
I didn’t even know it came out. My friend texted me, saying, “I saw the trailer and it looks good.” I was like, “The trailer for what?” I’m not even being self-effacing when I say that I’m the last person on the call sheet. I didn’t even know the trailer was coming. But I will say that if you liked the first season, you will love the second.
Speaking of TV, my favorite essay in the book is “How to Look Cool In Front of Teens.” You have this line about how a good TV show will inspire you to craft your entire personality around it. Is there a show that’s currently doing that for you?
Succession. I believe that I’m the long-lost Roy sibling. I have two friends and we have a group chat called Welcome to Clown Town where we’re just sending each other Succession memes all the time.
How do you think Succession will end? I can’t tell.
I can’t either. I mean, from season 1 I thought it was gonna be Kendall, and now I don’t know. But here’s what I’m invested in—I need Roman and Gerri to fuck. That’s my happy ending.
[Laughs] Now that we’ve talked about your favorite essay, which one was the most challenging to write?
The one about not making my show and what was going to happen in my pilot. I think Viacom still owns the script so I couldn’t put as much in there as I ordinarily would. My first idea was just to put the script in the book. And then my agent was like, “You can’t afford to get sued by Viacom.” So I went back to write something different and it was too long. My editor was like, “You gotta shave 2,000 words off.” And I was like, “Oh, not me. That sounds like editing. You got it.” I don’t get precious about it. I’m like, “Cut what you want. I won’t even notice.” I usually write a thing, turn it in, and get line edits. I never have to fully rework something. So this was the first time that I had to go back and forth. I don’t ever want to do that again. And I think part of it, too, was that even though I’m honest in my work, I never have to worry about hurting anyone’s feelings or not getting a job. And when writing about getting fucked over by Hollywood, it’s like, “Are they gonna get back at me?” But here’s the thing: they don’t want to make my show, so what’s to get back at me about? So we’ll see if there’s any backlash. But it still felt very cathartic.
This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.
Juliana Ukiomogbe is the Assistant Editor at ELLE. Her work has previously appeared in Interview, i-D, Teen Vogue, Nylon, and more.